the decision...

thanks to all the opinions shared re: my decision with having the doctor "stir the pot" today.

i have decided to allow him to do a check but to not "stir the pot."

some of the things i hadnt really thought of that were helpful in making this decision was:

-that both my previous labours did not get a chance to start totally naturally and i would like to give that a try.

-being strep B positive, if my waters are broken i will be committed to hospital even if labour is not really happening yet (b/c of the antibiotics they want to administer). if this happens before the baby is actually ready, and then it leads to a long non-progressing labour, it will increase my chances of having to be chemically induced (which i really want to avoid b/c it so painful). This could also potentially make me a candidate for c-section, even though i most likely would be fine to deliver naturally if i just wait it out!

-some babes born early have a hard time latching. both my babies have been total stars at latching, so i would hate to give this baby a disadvantage by having a little mouth or being sleepier/groggier :(

-we dont know if baby is a boy or girl. boys need to "cook" longer (usually for lung development) than girls usually, although diedre was covered in vernix and it might have been helpful for her to stay in longer for some health issues. so not knowing, is kind of messing with baby's health in that way too, baby just might not be ready! i could be a long gestator and i just have to accept that.

-i found out thru a friend about a potty learning plan that works best with kids ezekiel's age so i'm quite interested in trying that if i can get some secondary child support for 3 days straight. crazy maybe? something to do with the waiting time!

all that being written, i'm heading for my check up soon and we'll see what the dr. says. i'm not feeling especially confident that i will even be dilated at all. i had some good labour/contractions on tuesday, but i think it was mostly from overdoing it on monday :(
other than that, there have been no consistent decent contractions since. so i'm not expecting that the one day did alot of good as far as progressing goes. we shall see.