FOUR weeks or so to go

my pregnancy newsletter mentioned a few things worth noting:

most woman say they feel like the baby is going to fall out at this point: AGREE! i am soooo uncomfortable now. my belly is so heavy and the pressure from walking, sitting, driving is terrible. even lying down hurts sometimes if i'm not turned exactly perfect, ugh.

you may not feel as hungry as you have been: disagree...i've been eating way more this past week...maybe i'm trying to make up for my slow weight gain...i guess i better be careful, now is the time when water retention may occur and i was silly and baked lots of chocolate chip peanut butter cookies (i gained 7 lbs in one week when i was pregnant with diedre, the same week that i ate lots of pb cookies!).

baby is over 6lbs now and nearly 19 inches long!

one week until the baby is considered full term--pretty exciting! could be any day now...although its really not that likely that baby will arrive early. we'll have to wait and see.

i was not having a good morning today, diedre has been consistently waking at 5.30am and i was feeling pretty annoyed by it..although i don't go get her until 6am, i'm still fully awake the whole time...i read other mom's blogs who have newborns sleeping in later than that! bah! oh well, she is such a terrific kid, i can't fault her that she likes to hang out with me, even if its still dark out---but i am really jealous of the parents of kids who sleep 12 hours!!! diedre sleeps 10 hours at the most, but lately, regardless of her bedtime, she is waking at 5.30am! poor me :(

i told derek that on my next sleep-in day (usually saturday or sunday depending on his weekend schedule) i would really like it if he went to get her up and just leave me alone to sleep. most of my sleep-in days don't begin like that; he will go get her, but bring her to bed with us for milk (and she plays with my hair) and then after an hour or so moves on to the living room for me to sleep. so really i'm awake for an hour and a half or so before i get to start sleeping in. i do the same thing on most mornings with her when i'm "on duty" but derek likes it. i just don't find it relaxing when i'm supposed to be getting a break.

its too bad that the night we stayed in the hotel i slept so horribly. that was my one chance and it just totally didn't work out sleep wise. i got up way more than i do at home, there was so much noise and just general discomfort i guess.

i have also discovered we must have fleas at home, i have SOOOO many bites all over. its very annoying and painful (well, after i scratch) so i have tried treating both pets, we'll see if the bites slow down soon. i sure hope so!

another thing thats been difficult is carrying diedre. my belly is very large, my hips are joined to my belly, so its hard to hip carry her. also, it requires the use of side-abs, which are not operating as per usual, so its tough all around. she required carrying several times today because she was misbehaving/unhappy in public. it was tough to deal with the squirminess, i was almost at the point of saying "i'm never going out again!" i pretty much have to hold her like a football, kind of horizontal, she doesn't like it so much.

i've been going to a MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) group. i went last year and diedre only went into the nursery maybe once or twice without a fuss. otherwise, she hated it. she would work herself into an hysterical crying frenzy. the careworkers would not come get me but i would sense that it was happening and go check, and there she would be totally gasping for air and upset. i hate seeing her like that. i don't think its necessary to let her get to that stage. it was very stressful and not much of a break for me (except for the spa day, that must have been the time she went in ok...it was so nice...).

anyway, today was TERRIBLE. i just couldn't cope with it. i kept thinking "what am i going to do when i have the baby? if diedre won't go into the nursery care, i'll have both kids in the meeting with me and it will just be a big hassle." so at this point, after a terrible experience yet again, i am considering not going anymore.

its only twice a month, but the level of frustration for me and just seeing diedre so unhappy to be there, makes me think its just not worth it. she does fine in the nursery at church, but there's something about this group that she just doesn't do well with. she puttered around the meeting room for awhile and was fine, but then started getting a little fussy so i tried her in the class. totally didn't work. not even fish crackers would persuade her! now thats serious ;P

she does great at playgroups, but i'm there in the same room as her, not that she clings to me, but she plays really well when i'm around. i think that environment, although its not a true "break" from her, is better for my peace of mind. it fulfills my desire for coffee and chatting with other moms, while getting to oversee my daughter having fun.

last week was the first MOPS of the season and she did badly in the 1-2 year old room so i tried her out in the infant room because there were some ladies in there that she is comfortable with. it was great. i actually got to listen and be a part of the group. i found out today that those nice ladies only go once per month. i just don't think its going to work out that great this year. they offered that in january she could go into the 2 year old room (better toys, crafts, more appropriate for her age now) but i just don't know if i can wait that long, or if it would be okay to start up again in january maybe.

derek is downstairs laying tile in the kitchen. i'm hoping to show the suite on friday night. hopefully people will be wowed by the laminate and tile and ignore the fact that there's no bathroom (ha ha). i'm confident that it will all be done by november 1st.

upstairs, i'm trying not to stress about the room switcheroo that i cannot do by myself since i can't move beds, dressers and couches :D i guess it will have to wait for derek (who is totally busy with the suite until November 1st) unless some friends want to come by to help me. i have one willing person so far, but i know she can't move those things by herself either.

i really want diedre to get accustomed to her new room before baby comes (even though baby will stay in the bassinet in our room for 3 months, most likely). i would like baby's room available to use for baby's naps and all the baby stuff i need to clean and get out of storage. even just having the infant car seat, bouncy seat, swing, bassinet all in there for deidre to poke around at until baby comes. to become comfortable with all those things. we'll have to see how that goes too :D

ok, enough of an update. goodnight!
xo